Deep Break
28 Saturday Feb 2015
Posted Personal Legend, Wisdom
in28 Saturday Feb 2015
Posted Personal Legend, Wisdom
in22 Sunday Feb 2015
Tags
19 Thursday Feb 2015
Posted Addiction, ART, Exploration, Inspiration, Personal Legend, Wisdom
inTags
On a tear filled night of rage and anger
35 years ago
I penned my first rambling poem
Giving voice to my pain
Giving a spout from which flowed my story
I have seen darkness
I see it still
I have seen light
I get lost in the beauty it reveals
Success I hear is 90% failure
That journey is the road of the
in -between
Dare I say act one is complete
Soon there will be an intermission
And Act 2 will begin
What I know
From what I have learned so far
Is
That
There will be darkness
There will be light
I will be in the in between
Waiting
Allowing
Dancing
And being amazed
Hafiz sings of union
And love of God
In Gibran I hear of the magic
Of you and I
Many poets
Write and move me
Cause me
To be more than
To looker deeper than
To examine closer than
Eminem challenges me to own these moments to never let them go
In doing so
In staying present
All can be told
All can be honored
My own unique self expression
My “me”ness
My cascading breath of God
Feb 19
19 Thursday Feb 2015
Posted ART, Exploration, Inspiration, Nature
in17 Tuesday Feb 2015
Posted Challenge, Exploration, Wisdom
inYesterday I started 3 poems but did not finish them – that is not like me – normally when a poem shows up it wants to truck on through. This time though I recognized that something was amiss.
“I” wanted to them to be more than what they were.
Each was a facade and I abandoned them to write the Addicts Voice.
What did not get said is the emotion that I was feeling and have been feeling…
Scared
I am scared
That is what I have been hiding
That is what I have been running away from
Scared
I learned tonight to sit in my feelings
Not bury them or pass them over
Not numb them
Deny them
But just to sit in them
They show up
Notice them
Acknowledge them
Even thank them
So what am I afraid of
mainly that I am not enough
The thing I have been afraid of all my life
Not enough… you can fill in the rest
I am climbing a mountain
That i have never climbed before
Never been willing to climb
This time I am ready
And scared shows up
It is natural isn’t it
Likely before I eventually summit
Eventually start to walk the valley
On the other side of this and many more mountains, many more feelings will show up
That is okay
Like travellers they will pass through
I will honour them
Thank them
Even offer them a cup of tea
To say what they need to say
Then we will part
As we each continue on our journey
Thank you I am scared
Thank you I am not enough
Feb 17, 2015
16 Monday Feb 2015
Posted Addiction, courage, Inspiration
inMy addict cries for independence
Yearns for me to go inside
To reject all that around me
To drag me down
And beat me up
Makes me write ” I am not Ray”
As if anyone besides Ray Charles could ever have been
Makes me think that I am on my own
When that clearly is a lie
When I have had and always will have those willing to do whatever it takes to love and support me
The addict wants want it wants
To be soothed
To be numb
To get lost in its own private hell
But for tonight
For those who struggle
Some who win and some lose
For those who love me and even for those who don’t
I reject all that shit
I don’t need to go into the Wild
And while I need to walk this road
Need to go on this journey
Never have or never I will have to walk it alone
As the wind and the rain
Pelt the house
And make it shake
Testing its strength and resolve
So too do I welcome the doubt
And the little voice that says I can’t
For within it
Lies the truth that the addict
Does not want me to hear
That deep down
I don’t have to be strong
Just have faith
I don’t need to have it all figured out
Just trust
I don’t need to do it all by myself
Just open my arms and be willing
You are right Brett, “love will come set me free, I do believe”
Gordon
Feb 16 2015
11 Wednesday Feb 2015
Posted Uncategorized
inwhy can’t I just keep being productive
… keep writing
Why is it that the well seems to go dry
Or the need to share seems to leave
Walking out the door with its hat in its hand saying “till next time”
I hate it when it feels like I have nothing else to say
Or is it more like I get afraid and retreat?
I know I want to be the guy on the right or is it the other guy. Not the guy you know.
And yet I feel a pull
A tug back to comfort
And to not writing
Not sharing
I resist
This is resisting
03 Tuesday Feb 2015
Posted courage, Exploration, Personal Legend
inTags
I am beginning a journey and yet I am not at the start
The start started long before now
Maybe even before I was born
Yet suffice to say that the journey has begun again
I have put on my hat and coat and mittens
And I am going out to brave the elements
In 2006 – I was called – to journey, to discover
And I did for awhile
And then got stuck again
I have become unstuck
I have stopped resisting
I am willing to walk the difficult path
To allow God to be my guide
And I know that if I am courageous
And willing to work hard
That good things are on the horizon
Namaste
02 Monday Feb 2015
Posted Uncategorized
inI lost a friend on Thursday
Someone who had been sharing her
Fight
Someone who was a stand for Leadership
A stand for Partnership
A stand for Doing things you never did before
I lost a friend on Thursday
A friend who had shared with me
Laughed with me
Mentored Me
praised me
Coached me
And held my hand as I took on something bigger than I ever imagined myself to be
I lost a friend on Thursday
Who inspired a Community
And worked tirelessly to help others
I found her on Saturday
In a note in a book on my shelf
A book to help me in my own Recovery
Letting Go it said
I have my friend
I let go
I am glad you did also
Now go and play
With the Angels
Dance and sing
And Shine like the beautiful soul that you are .
God bless you Marlene. I was honored and blessed to have known you and been impacted by the force that you are.
01 Sunday Feb 2015
Posted Inspiration, Nature, Wisdom
inTags
I take my clues from nature
Last night stormy
This morning calm
The sun shining
Clouds have cleared
And heaven beyond
Not visible
But there all the same
Birds singing
Ice melting
Walking on the beach though is
Different
Rocks glued together
In the cold
Easy
Even the wind
Has taken a holiday
Do you feel it
Sense it
The temperature is 0
Going up
Not frozen
Not thawed
Nature says
Take a break
She says
I have cleared a space
Take my hand
Let’s walk forward
Together
I take my clues from nature
And she says
Yes